Christianity Confusion

Ephesians 2:1–2 (NASB 95)

1 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, 2 in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.

Examine / Explain

In our humanity, we are already dead to an eternal life with God because of the sin that entered the world through the first man. In that human nature, we follow what the broken world has to offer. Lust of the flesh, lust of the eye, and the boastful pride of life. All things that were offered since the dawn of mankind. This spirit of destruction and disobedience guided us. This was the way.

How do I apply this to my life?

Following Christ can sometimes be confusing. We are born dead in our sin. A death that can be countered into life by sacrifice and laying ourselves on an altar. We die to ourselves so that we can be alive in Christ. His death allowed me to overcome death and spend eternity with God. In our humanness, we are enemies of God. We allow the spirit of stealing, killing, and destruction to govern our existence. We rebel not only against God but anything that comes from His nature, like authority, order, and paths that are better for us than us choosing our own way. Our hearts are deceitfully wicked, and when we follow them, it leads to our own demise. We try to be rulers and kings of our own kingdoms. We demand and dictate from a blinded perspective. If we would walk out our gate and surrender to the King of all Kings, our lives would be different. Not easy, but different. Battles still would happen all around us. Hard times would come our way. But we would have a hope of something greater than ourselves. We would have the Spirit of the Living God inside us. The same Spirit from the dawn of creation raised Jesus from the dead living inside me. Then why, as a believer, do I still run inside my castle and fend for myself? I get up from the altar of fleshly death and attempt to run my life how I see fit, only for it to spin out of control and crash into a ditch. I must walk out my gate daily and lay my life down on the altar to live. I must completely live and trust that God has my best interest at heart. I must listen to the Spirit of God when he nudges and speaks to me. I have to have a quiet heart so that I can hear the soft whispers of my helper. I must come to a state of mind where I stop getting up and allow Him to carry me. We are sheep dependent on the shepherd and can do nothing alone. We are ready as lions and protectors at a moment’s notice. Lions and sheep. Shrewd as serpents. Death is life, and life is death. Following Christ can sometimes be confusing.

What is my response?

Father, why do I call you Father? Does my life reflect one of being Your son? My flesh and spirit rage in battle always. One would think the spirit would win hands down every time. Not so! The flesh is weak, and yet it wins at times—probably more than I want to admit. I truly want to look more like Jesus today than yesterday, AND I want to be the ruler of my kingdom. That is the tension. That is the battle that must be fought day and night. Is there a misconception that I will automatically give up my kingdom so easily because I am a believer? I have fought tooth and nail to create my kingdom; my flesh will fight to keep it. My response is to ask for help in killing my flesh. Kill my desire to want to rule in my own authority. I must die to myself and surrender my pride, my lust, and my flesh to You. I am going to resuscitate them. I know I will. I will try to revive pride, lust, and flesh. My body and will crave it. I need Your help to make sure they stay dead. Help me! I cannot do this alone. Love me! I will rebel again. Forgive me! I will sin against You. Keep me! I am human and broken. I know where I want to go and how I want to be, but not without You. I will never make it on my own. I love you; truly, I do. Help me live it out! Amen.