Cry Out

Psalm 69:1-4

1 Save me, O God, For the waters have threatened my life. 2 I have sunk in deep mire, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me. 3 I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched;  My eyes fail while I wait for my God. 4 Those who hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of my head; Those who would destroy me are powerful, being wrongfully my enemies; What I did not steal, I then have to restore

Examine / Explain

I cry out to my God to save me because I feel like I am in waters up to my neck. I struggle with life under my own strength and can’t get a grip to get myself out of the muck. I have lost sight of You, drifted out to deeper waters, and will be washed over if You do not save me. I have been crying in vain because I can’t speak anymore. I search desperately for salvation, but I grow weaker because there is none that I can see. The world is against me. Everything is crashing down on me when I have done nothing to the world. Why do I have to pay for the things I did not do?

How do I apply this in my life?

I feel like lately, I have been in David’s shoes when he wrote this Psalm. All I have seen was the bad and negativity of the world being against me. My health, mind and those around me won’t do what I want them to do. The people above me who should be looking out for me make me feel more attacked than protected. In all the turmoil, I strain to reach the top of something where I think there is salvation for all my pains. But I am grasping for air. There is nothing there. I scream, “God, where are you?” But am I truly looking for Him, or am I still trying to find my own foothold to climb out? I need to really look at the cards I have been dealt and say, “God here I am!” Seek His face instead of focusing on circumstances I cannot control. I need to die to my complaints and what I think is the best way and disciple others wherever and whenever I am. Have I lost that much sight of my purpose? Why do I still sit where I don’t feel needed? Fear! Fear that I cannot exist outside those bounds that I have deemed salvation. I do have to have men in my life. I do have to pursue God. Non-negotiables! Because that is how we are made. In His image. We must be in the community and know the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Does God have a purpose for me where I am? Even in non-agreement with the process. God, if that is the case, you must change my mind. You’ll have to kick me in the pants and open my mind and eyes to something penetrating my heart! Getting others to a deeper relationship with you takes precedence over everything, yet I get stuck getting them to you. Well, in the larger picture. I do better when we gather smaller because that’s how you built me. I am looking at enemies and neighbors alike. Who is really against me? Not the people around me. There is but one enemy whose playground is the mind and the influence of people. What are my idols? Because the things I look for salvation are all related to situations and circumstances instead of YOU!

What is my response?

Father, I am a broken man. I strive to know you, but I don’t. My flesh wins out more often than Your Spirit, in my opinion. There are things in my life I hate right now. There are things that I love. How many of either do I filter through the lens of Christ? Not enough! My mind is out of unity with Yours, and I feel it. I do not turn to You for my refuge. I do not hide in Your strong tower. I do not find shelter under Your wings. Point out and help me kill the things that keep me from doing that. “Safe Retreat” has been playing a lot on Spotify, and today, I think it was to remind you that I am really not running to You. I might say it and even look like to others but in my heart, I am still going under my own strength. And the only way to fix it is to kill what is in the way. Not work on it. Not adjust it or move it out of the way. Death is the only thing that will get me to You. For You are the true salvation of my soul. Your Son on the cross is all that I need. And yet we are a fragile and fickle people that still turn to golden calves right after a miracle. I’m over it. I need to be in a dead sprint right to your arms. Not trying to find a foothold, but surrendering and stretching out to You. I AM NOT THE ONLY WHO CAN MEET ALL MY NEEDS! Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father, who sees His children and cares for them more than any other creation. He died for us and we can’t even sacrifice what we want for a little while. Change my heart. Change my mind, Open my eyes. Remove the blinders I have put on. Let me sit in Your presence.