Desolate

Psalm 143:1-4

     1 Hear my prayer, O LORD,

      Give ear to my supplications!

      Answer me in Your faithfulness, in Your righteousness!

      2 And do not enter into judgment with Your servant,

      For in Your sight no man living is righteous.

      3 For the enemy has persecuted my soul;

      He has crushed my life to the ground;

      He has made me dwell in dark places, like those who have long been dead.

      4 Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me;

      My heart is appalled within me.

Examine / Explain

This psalm of David is titled “Prayer for Deliverance and Guidance.” I get a sense of David feeling crushed by the weight of the world on his shoulders. His spirit is overwhelmed, his soul persecuted by his enemy, and he looks toward God because of His faithfulness and righteousness. I think David feels alone and even maybe a bit depressed. He is in a dark place. He is crushed to the ground. He is looking for someone to help him.

How do I apply this to my life?

David doesn’t have the luxury of having the Holy Spirit dwelling inside him. We do. And yet, we are currently in a widespread epidemic of loneliness and unhealthy solitude. We are the most connected generations in the history of the world, and yet we are the most disconnected relationally. But is it just the connectivity to blame? What generations before have influenced us? To not talk about certain “taboo” situations, or in shame, bury incidents so as not to look bad. The more I study David the more I like him. He spilled his guts about how he felt. The highs and the lows. Here, his heart is appalled or desolate. I take this as he feels completely and utterly alone. He is drowning in whatever current situation is happening to and around him. His only solace is that the LORD can hear his supplications. That the God of the universe is faithful and righteous. God knows we are unrighteous and yet He still loves us. Even in our darkest moments God still loves us. I am not alone. I have realized that I have a problem being and feeling alone. And even though I also live in this hyperconnected world and I have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside me, I too can feel desolate. I, too, can feel my spirit overwhelmed. And in my human nature, in my fleshy state, my mind will try to compensate for this feeling. My mind tries to wander to old habits to not feel alone. My flesh wants to feel in control of the situation and try to take me to unhealthy places. But I must remain diligent. I must be self-aware and know what is going on inside of me. When I feel alone I must remind myself that God is with me. I have the living God dwelling with me as the Holy Spirit. I am never alone. I have a community spiritually and physically.

What is my response?

Father, I must remember. I must remember You are there and I can turn to You in an instant.  I must not forget that You are with me. I will believe the lies that I stand desolate and without support. I have a spouse who supports me, men who walk along-side me, and a God who leads me. I just can’t be blind to any of it. Draw me near Lord. Teach me to follow You. Place monuments around me to never forget You are always with me. I lay my flesh on the altar and choose to not pick it up again. I choose to remember You and what you have done. I will not be distracted by the enemy and to be made to feel alone. Home, work, or even in a body of believers. I have heard these lies for too long and bought in. No more! I am not alone! Amen.