Tension

Ephesians 5:6–9 (NASB 95)

6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them; 8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light 9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),

Examine / Explain

As believers, we should have an understanding of our salvation or be working toward that understanding. We must not be deceived by a false gospel that tells us our actions don’t have to align with our beliefs. The enemy will convince us that we can sin as much as we want because we are forgiven. Which God will forgive but what pattern are we walking as little children? Days, weeks, years of consistent habitual sin. What is our fruit in that journey? Goodness, righteousness, and truth?

What’s the application?

I know I became a believer the summer before my senior year of high school. I had habitual sin in my life. I didn’t understand it at the time but I was addicted to sexual immorality. After surrendering my life to Jesus I know I was different. Life seemed lighter. The heaviness of life felt lifted off my shoulders. Unfortunately, no one guided me out of my patterns of sin. So I grew in the Lord and still had habitual sin. I was a child light and still performing dark deeds. Here Paul calls us formerly darkness. Not that we were in the dark but we were darkness. Our hearts were full of dark things and our flesh still strives to fulfill those dark wishes. Now that we are in the light as believers we are to strive for the things in the light of Christ. Galatians 5:21 talks about how those who practice darkness will not inherit the kingdom of God. My struggle in understanding this is for the many years I held the secret sin of addiction while continuing to grow and have the fruit of a believer. Was my growth slow and not what I would call an abundance of fruit? Yes. But there was still fruit. God could and still can see my heart. He knows my thoughts and motives. He knows and understands me better than I do. In my mind, there is a tension between sinner and saint. The tension between believing and walking as children of light. The tension between stagnation and sanctification. These thoughts help me understand why I am headed back to student ministry. Young men need to be fed so there is a possibility that they won’t grow into men who are starving. I survived on scraps of truth with no guidance. Maybe I could help feed the hungry and teach them how to get to the fullness of Christ earlier in life. 

What’s my response?

Dad, help me hold the tension. Help me hold tension in my own life while I am ministering to others. Help hold tension with others as they go from death to life, from stagnation to sanctification. Let me be a glimpse of light in other’s lives. Search my heart and expose the darkness that is still hanging around. You tell us we don’t put lights under baskets. You know my heart. You know my desires. You know my motives. I am a wretched, prideful, and selfish man. I lay those on the altar and walk a child of light and living sacrifice. My flesh is going to pick those up again. But You still love me in all of my failures. Draw me close so I want my flesh less. I want to sin less in my walk as a believer. I want to look like Jesus today than yesterday. I need community, accountability, and daily devotion to You. Help me check my fruit and make changes that are needed so there is a bounty of fruit in my life. Amen.